Seeking Feedback As We ‘Grow Up’ (or not!)

The Pat on the Back…

Even the most practical discussion can turn into a conversation about something deeper — that’s the nature of growing up it seems to me — the nature of waking up in fact — that we don’t look for solutions to ‘practical’ problems, but we look to step back, and more deeply feel into an awareness of the nature of conversation, rather than the content of the exchange, what is there to be felt, and seen, who we are that is talking and what is revealed through those new eyes.

This particular conversation was sparked with a question about an absentee boss and ever-lengthening periods of time between feedback, what to make of it, and potentially do about it.

I really miss those highs from a job well done, he said.

It’s nice to get the ego-buzz from a tick in the box, the five star review, the sense that we have ‘pleased’ someone, but is it really anything more than the empty calories and sugar rush of a fizzy drink?

I know, I’ve been there. For many years in fact, it felt that ‘doing well’ was measured by an external marker, the many academic and career lauds, and how wide-reaching the interventions I implemented. Until it became more obvious that impact was something less tangible, less easily measured in economic return.